Every South African knows of the legend that is Leon Schuster. He is our original prankster, made famous by his uniquely South African candid camera work. Although he may have departed from his original film tactics in recent productions such as Mr. Bones and Mama Jack, Schuks Tshabalala’s Survival Guide to South Africa sees Schuster return to his comedic roots.

Schuks Tshabalala’s Survival Guide to South Africa is pure Schuster. If you have enjoyed any of his previous candid camera focused movies, you will no doubt enjoy his latest foray into slapstick South African comedy.

The film attempts to weave each candid camera scenario into a larger background story, in this case a Mr Schuks Tshabalala offers a tour of South Africa to a group of poorly acted ‘foreigners’. However, all these slapstick interludes serve to do is annoyingly retract from the real comedic elements. Even though some of the lyrics to a few of the Highschool Musical inspired interludes were brilliantly tongue-in-cheek, they felt somewhat disconnected from the story as a whole. I would equate it to like watching a reality show on MTV which is split by music videos.

Although there were quite a few gems in terms of the candid camera work, the Helen Zille and Seapoint squatter camp scenario’s being among them, Schuster has not attempted to push the proverbial envelope in any way. Instead, each candid camera scenario is simply a rehash of something we have seen from him before: Golf Club scene? Check. Fooling rookie cops? Check. Scaring taxi drivers and occupants? Check, and so on and so forth. This is by no means a bad thing, after all, as the adage goes, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Even so, it feels like a missed opportunity for Schuster to push the boundaries in the same way he did in the 80s with You Must Be Joking.

Nevertheless, if you enjoy South African slapstick humour then Schuks Tshabalala’s Survival Guide to South Africa is not to be missed.

Verdict: 6/10.

The film opens nation wide on Friday the 28th of May 2010.

As is always the case with any Sterkinekor event, there were many delicious snacks and ample refreshments for all red carpet guests as well as numerous paparazzi. I have got to give it to Sterkinekor , they always make you feel like a star when visiting their ‘happy place’ during premiere events.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

I found out that not only were the Aussies releasing the movie a full week before South Africa (18th November vs. 27th November), with midnight premiere and all, but I would also have the opportunity to share the experience with my cousin Terrence (who is currently studying in Melbourne via Monash University’s Study Abroad Program). In essence, everything worked out as planned.

As you may have guessed, I am a self confessed fan of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Saga. I firmly believe that this ‘saga’ offers a long overdue reintroduction to the classic kind of love story made popular by Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliette. Granted it does have a supernatural element to it, but that is what gives the story such a fantastic 21st century spin. Not to mention the fact that the story has action, Vampires and Werewolves in it, thus allowing for guys, like myself, to pick up the books without too much ridicule.

I could attempt to offer an unbiased review of the film, but considering how much I enjoyed the books and the first movie, an unbiased opinion is not impossible, but it is highly unlikely. Consequently, I will merely offer a few thoughts on the film as a whole and focus this post more on my overall experience of the event.

I watched the film at the Hoyts cinema complex in Chadstone – which is apparently the biggest shopping centre in the southern hemisphere. To say that the complex was packed, is a gross understatement. There were so many people that one could be forgiven for thinking that the event took place on a blockbuster making Friday or Saturday night. Not on a Wednesday evening after 23:00 (11 pm).

Our $40 (R280) ticket included access to the movie, a free’ Girlfriend’ Magazine *yawn*, a large bucket of popcorn, a large soft drink of your choice and a plastic foil laced collectors edition drinking flask – which is actually pretty cool. If you were lucky enough to obtain an $80 (R560!) ‘La Premiere’ ticket (which, as crazy as the price was, I tried getting but they were sold out), not only were you given access to the ‘La Premiere’ seating and ‘in-cinema’ food menu, along with everything else, but you would have also scored yourself a New Moon T-shirt valued at $20 (R140).

On a quick side note, it is worth mentioning that the Aussie girls are very ‘friendly’ and know what they want. Which my cousin can more than corroborate, often jesting how the Aussie girls often “rape” guys if they are not careful. Suffice to say, while I was waiting in the queue to enter the cinema, I managed to strike up several ‘enlightening’ conversations with the girls around me. Five minutes more and I am pretty sure that we would have both been ravaged by the Vampire hungry Bella’s! Ha ha! Seriously though, Melbournians are very welcoming and open people. You could talk to anyone and feel as if you have known them for years. A great quality!

The movie is actually quite good. It is not a perfect rendition of the story, but book to movie translations seldom are. With that said, despite a few ‘what the heck’ moments, the movie is reasonably close to the original story outlined in the novel. Thus fans of the books will know what to expect from the film. Ultimately though, if you enjoyed the first movie, you will undoubtedly enjoy the second. However, it is worth noting, for those not familiar with the story,  that the second film is more of a dramatic love story than the first. With more of an emphasis on the main characters and the love triangle which begins to emerge between them. Contrary to what the trailer would have you believe.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon receives a fanglorious 8/10.

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I think that around 80 percent of the audience were female. How do I know? Easy. Courtesy of the deafening screams and ooh’s and ah’s which prevailed the first time Edward and Jacob made their on screen appearances *rolls eyes*. Not to mention the scenes in which they each take off their shirts for the first time (thought I was going to go deaf from the screaming). I have got to give it to Taylor Lautner though, that kid has an amazing body for someone so young *self-consciously sucks in boep a little more*. Usually I find audience participation within a cinema to be off putting. However, this time around it merely contributed to the overall experience and ‘buzz’ of the event. All in all a fantastic time was had.

*Spoiler: Do not continue reading if you have not read or watched past New Moon*
Before I end this post, I just want to share something that I finally realised after watching New Moon for the second time. I finally ‘clicked’, that Bella wanting to become a Vampire is essentially a metaphor for losing her virginity. However, the metaphor does not end there. It is extended through to when Edward insists that he will only ‘turn’ Bella once they are married. Thus enforcing the notion of ‘no sex before/until marriage’. An arguably good, yet partially unrealistic, message to be sending out to the youth of today:

“Save yourself, for everlasting love”!

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

“Why did van der Merwe keep a pair of scissors in his racing car?
So he could cut the corners!”

For the last several months, ever since first viewing the initial teaser trailer, there has only been one movie to have successfully garnered my obsessive anxiety.

Not Slumdog Millionaire. Not Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Not even the infallible Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. No, this exclusive obsession could not be for any ordinary movie or typical Hollywood cash cow.

Instead, my focus has continuously been drawn to a movie which is set, surprisingly, in the very city within which I live.

That movie has been none other than this years science fiction sleeper hit, District 9.

As a gamer and general technology enthusiast, I have been aware of Neill Blomkamp for quite some time. Without a doubt, Blomkamp’s most notable breakthrough was way back in 2005, for his short film entitled Alive in Joburg. However, what many people may not realise, is that Alive in Joburg actually served as the premise for District 9.

It was this short film which allowed Blomkamp to garner the attention of the ring baring Peter Jackson. At the time, Jackson’s company, WETA Digital, was recruited by Microsoft, in association with Bungie Game Studios, to help produce a series of live action short films to promote the latest game in the Halo franchise, Halo 3. As it so happened, Jackson liked Blomkamp’s work in Alive in Joburg so much that he chartered the South African to be the director for the Halo: Arms Race live action short film.

The Halo: Arms Race short film was so well received that Microsoft decided to green light a Halo movie with Blomkamp as the director, courtesy of Peter Jackson. Unfortunately, the Halo film project was shelved, due to “internal disagreements between Fox, Universal and Microsoft” (Boucher, 2009). However, because Halo was supposed to be Blomkamp’s foray into the world of feature filmmaking, Peter Jackson and those involved felt obligated to give Blomkamp financial support and a chance to direct another film.  Consequently, it was decided that the short film Alive in Joburg could be expanded into a feature. Ultimately, and according to Jackson, District 9 was born “the day Halo [the film] died” (Boucher, 2009). On a side note, the Halo film appears to be back on track with Stephen Spielberg at the helm.

So, in a cruel twist of fate, if it was not for the initial demise of a Halo film, we would most likely not have the film District 9.

On Wednesday 12th August 2009, I was notified by Sterkinekor entertainment of the South African premiere of District 9. To say that I was excited, is a complete and utterly profound understatement. I actually squealed in delight – not a good sign, what with Swine Flu (H1N1) rampant in our parts these days. Subsequently, rather than waiting for a press invitation, I immediately went out and secured my own tickets to the event – eight in total: for myself (Hans), Athena, Dillon, Cleo, Terence, Charissa, Gideon and Tiffany.

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There are nights and then there are ‘NIGHTS’ in Johannesburg! Yesterday evening, Wednesday 19th August 2009, was certainly one of those ‘NIGHTS’. It appeared that the whole of Johannesburg had pitched up for the premiere, well over 1000 people. Everyone was there, from the A, B and C list’s all the way to the ultra exclusive mainstream folk, such as yours truly.

Upon arriving at The Zone, in Rosebank, we were greeted with a preliminary red carpet; bursting at the seems with guests and stretching over a good 50 metres from the entrance all the way to a series of brightly lit and coloured ‘shacks’. Acting like born and bred celebrities, we completely bypassed the burgeoning queue of astonished guests and made our way toward the ‘nouveau chic’  inspired construction (I already had our tickets, the perks of forward thinking). It was there that we were hounded by the paparazzi, who gracefully led us into the shanty town structures for our mandatory photographic session.

After intimately exploring the District 9 drop zone, and after a thorough security check by Multi  National United (MNU) guards, we were tagged and relocated to The Red Carpet. The paparazzi had a field day. We narrowly managed to evade the press and made our way to the celebrity friendly Non-Human safe zone. It was there that we joined the celebrity ranks and socialised with fellow artisans such as Heinz Winckler, DJ Fresh (who is rather arrogant), Prime Circle, Miss Earth, Cindy Nel (PDA alert – get a room next time) and the cast of Egoli, among many other notables.

After a brief reprieve, made bearable by a multitude of delicious buffet styled snacks and copious amounts of champagne and wine, an MNU agent announced that the District 9 premiere was about to begin and that we should all take our places in the cinemas for launch. Most impressively, everything had been very well thought through and catered for; with  freshly produced condiments awaiting our consumption in each and every available seat.

Without giving too much away, the story focuses on an  extraterrestrial race, hatefully known as ”Prawns” by locals, who are forced to live in ‘squalid’ conditions, near the city of Johannesburg in South Africa, who suddenly find a kindred spirit in a government agent, who is unexpectedly exposed to their biotechnology whilst being tasked with the responsibility of relocating the aliens to a new “District 10″ camp. With family drama, corporate politics, inter-species sexual relations and some rather bad Nigerian ‘muti-loving’ gangsters, lest not forget steroid raging marines and a verbose use of gore, what more could science fiction critics want?

In essence the movie is a politically driven science fiction drama with a documentary styled focus, which offers no illusions to the fact that the movie is heavily based on South Africa’s ‘apartheid era’. After all, the title District 9 is a homage to District Six, a former inner-city residential area in Cape Town, South Africa, which was declared a “whites only” area by the apartheid government and whose population of 60,000 inhabitants were forcibly relocated to the Cape Flats – a zone 25 kilometres away from the Cape Town city centre. Consequently, the film is not shy about exploring hushed notions of stereotyping, xenophobia, inhumanity and blatant racism; a story not so far off from South African reality. Even with the underlying social commentary, which I think viewers may be unable to ignore, the movie itself is fascinating.

One of the best aspects of the film, in my opinion, has to do with the humour.   Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, the film is inundated with all sorts of local South African “in-jokes”, references and symbolism. For example, anyone who does not chuckle at the fact the the protagonist is a ‘Van Der Merwe’ or, better still, that the main expert on the case hails from ‘Kempton Park University’, cannot truly consider themselves true ‘Joburgers’, let alone South African.

I have written about casting veritable unknowns as leads within feature films before. As always, it is often quite a risky endeavour. However, in this case, every one of the characters was an ‘unknown’. Even so, the outcome proved to be worth the risk. Of particular mention is Sharlto Copley, who plays the anti-hero Wikus van der Merwe. I can honestly say, that Copley is excellent as the bumbling, mild mannered, Clark-Kent-esque MNU agent. He pulls off the role with absolute aplomb and I think they would have been hard pressed to find anyone else who could have done it as well as he did.

“I hope people will be inspired to see an Afrikaans character played with a redemptive quality. Afrikaaners have just held this guilt for apartheid – fair enough in some instances, but it’s also remarkable what they actually did in the end, giving over the power that they had”.

Sharlto Copley on his character ‘Wikus van der Merwe’ (Jackie May, 2009)

Visually, the movie is sclera drying and amazingly crafted! Considering the budget, a mere $30 million, they did an astounding job. One would not be labelled a fool for thinking the movie to have a budget of over $100 million! It just goes to show that one does not need the exorbitant amounts often thrown around Hollywood to create a sublime and visually intensive movie (Michael Bay, I am looking at you)! The alien creature visuals effects were created by Image Engine in Vancouver, Canada, while additional visual effects were created by The Embassy Visual Effects, Zoic Studios and Peter Jackson’s firm, Weta Digital. The film also makes use of a unique cinematographic style. Think of it as a mix between the Blair Witch Project, Carte Blanche and Men In Black. Surprisingly, Blomkamp handles the varied mix amazingly well.

According to Chris Lee (Los Angeles Times, 2009), over the course of District 9’s opening weekend in American theatres, the science fiction thriller earned $37 million at the box office, surpassing all commercial expectations and, moreover, hauling in $7 million more than the “scrappy quasi-documentary cost to produce”. As of Tuesday night, the film had pulled in an additional $10 million, earning a total $47.1 million! The film is, no doubt, on it’s way to being the unofficial surprise hit of the season! “Jislike”!

District 9 has the scope of Independence Day, the visual cinematographic style of Cloverfield, the suspenseful thrill of the original Aliens and a gripping well written story like that of Primer.

Verdict: 9/10.

After being completely mesmerised by the absolute brilliance of District 9, we were all greeted by an inability to prevent ourselves from clapping in admiration and pride at a job well done. District 9 is proof, more than ever, that one can truly be proud to be a South African.

Everybody knows that when there is a premiere there is bound to be some kind of SWAG (Stuff We All Get). Bear in mind, this is not Hollywood, so we were not expecting items like District 9 emblazoned mobile phones or anything *hint, nudge, hint*. Thankfully, Sterkinekor did not disappoint. Upon exiting the theatre, each guest was handed a flower made out of the cans that soft drinks are sold in. This may not seem like much, and you may be thinking ‘what the hell’?, but until you have actually watched District 9, you cannot really appreciate this unexpected, yet extremely welcomed, gift. Guests were also given free posters and several sets of printed photographs from the ‘shack’ photo shoot that I alluded to earlier.

Of course, before we decided to leave, we made time to schmooze with the actors and actresses from the movie. All of them were incredibly modest and were more than happy to have their pictures taken with us (you hear that DJ Fresh? The ‘now’ international stars are ‘modest’! Go look it up). A majority of whom we inadvertently snubbed before watching the film, since we really had no idea who they were. I had actually asked an ‘alleged’ celebrity to take a photograph of my posse and myself after the movie. The look on his face was one of utter confusion when I placed the camera in his hands. He obviously thought I was going to ask him if I could have a photograph with him and his ‘entourage’. Good times!

Before we made our graceful exit, we were covertly approached by this inconspicuous little lady, who offered an exclusive invitation to the District 9 after party. Just when we thought the evening could not get any better, it did! We vehemently accepted and agreed to let her show us the way. After a short nipple freezing walk, in the middle of Joburg, we entered the Circle Bar at the Rosebank Hotel. One word came to mind: “Bliksem”!

The place was buzzing with the most incredible vibe. There were celebrities left, right and centre. The paparazzi were in full force, taking photographs at every opportunity. Interviews were being conducted right under our noses. Whilst the rest of the generally beautiful populace continued to mingle and converse. All the while being serenaded by a talented saxophonist whose melodically twanged notes were beautifully complimented by the resident DJ’s mastery of uplifting lounge grooves. We. Had. Arrived!

We mingled. We feigned knowing people we did not actually know (Cleo, you are a total ‘machete’). We gorged ourselves on the abundantly divine starters that were making the rounds. We spilled our drinks. We took photographs. Photographs were taken of us. We made friends with the cast of the locally produced Afrikaans movie, ‘Bak Gat’. We sang. We ‘whooped’. We danced. We changed the setting of our ‘inner’ electronic circle (Circle Bar FTW). We laughed. We laughed until we cried tears of insurmountable joy!

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I would like to publicly send a shout out to Sterkinekor entertainment and all those who made the District 9 premiere a possibility. From the decor, red carpet, free condiments and buffet styled starters, all the way to the great SWAG, copious photographic opportunities, celebrity appearances and ultra chic after party; I do not think it could have been done any better! Thank you for creating such an amazing event. One that will be imbedded in our memories for many years to come. You have shown that South Africa is just as capable as any other country to hold a first class event.

I can honestly say that this was one of the most memorable nights I have ever had. It was truly a spectacular event and one that will surely be hard to beat. However, I do not think the experience would have been as ‘mindblowing’ as it was, without the amazing group of family and friends who attended the District 9 premiere with me. You are all, without a doubt, a phenomenal clique of people, who share perfect chemistry. Thank you all so much!

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

Last week I was spammed notified, by Sterkinekor Entertainment, of the first SA Screening of the Oscar® nominated film: Slumdog Millionaire. In line with my new philosophy on life, to enjoy new experiences through living life to the fullest, I decided to get a few friends together and attend the premiere of this highly acclaimed and accolade endowed film.

The premiere took place at the Cinema Nouveau at Cedar Square in Fourways on Tuesday 17th February 2009 from 19:00. We were all rather impressed with the event since they had a red carpet, with paparazzi and all, as well as free cocktails and buffet-like snacks. Furthermore, it was an opportunity to mingle with South African celebrities (if you even know who they are?!)  as well as obtain free popcorn for the film! Even the author of the book ‘Q&A’, which the movie is based on, was available at the premiere for autographs. I would have liked to have purchased a book and have had it autographed but my disdain for none hard covered/backed books prevented me from splurging for the vastly inferior soft cover version. That is just me! LOL!

I did think about writing my own review of the film, but I found this review from Rolling Stones Online which closely resembles my thoughts and feelings towards the film (Oh all right… I was just too lazy to write one myself *snicker*):

What I feel for this movie isn’t just admiration, it’s mad love. And I couldn’t be more surprised. The plot reeks of uplift: An illiterate slum kid from Mumbai goes on the local TV version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and comes off like a brainiac. Who wants to see that? Final answer: You do. Slumdog Millionaire has the goods to bust out as a scrappy contender in the Oscar race. It’s modern India standing in for a world in full economic spin. It’s an explosion of colour and light with the darkness ever ready to invade. It’s a family film of shocking brutality, a romance haunted by sexual abuse, a fantasy of wealth fuelled by crushing poverty.

You won’t find many fairy tales that open with a graphic torture scene. The cops think 18-year-old Jamal Malik (a sensational Dev Patel) is a fraud. Goaded by the show’s host (the superb Anil Kapoor), the police inspector (Irrfan Khan) is determined to beat the truth out of Jamal before he goes back on the show and hits the jackpot of 20 million rupees. Presumably this is not the way Regis Philbin ran things when the show hit America in 1999.

Brimming with humour and heartbreak, Slumdog Millionaire meets at the border of art and commerce and lets one flow into the other as if that were the natural order of things. Sweet. Screenwriter Simon Beaufoy (The Full Monty) brings focus to Q & A, the episodic Vikas Swarup novel on which the film is based. Still, the MVP here is Danny Boyle, who directs the film brilliantly. Boyle is the Irish-Catholic working-class Brit who put his surreal mark on zombies (28 Days Later) and smack addicts (Trainspotting), and made us see ourselves in their blood wars. Those movies were so potent, as was his 1994 debut, Shallow Grave, that we looked the other way when Boyle went Hollywood with The Beach and screwed up with A Life Less Ordinary. Somehow we knew that Boyle had the stuff to work miracles.

Here’s the proof. We learn the history of Jamal and the other principal characters in flashbacks, as Jamal answers questions on the TV show not from book knowledge — he has none — but his own life experiences. Jamal is searching for two people from his childhood: his wild older brother Salim (an outstanding Madhur Mittal), now a thief and killer, and his adored Latika (the achingly lovely Freida Pinto), now stepping up from child prostitute to plaything of a gangster. Every incident, including the brothers’ watching their mother die in an anti-Muslim riot, feeds into Jamal’s answers on the show. OK, the concept bends coincidence to the breaking point. But Jamal’s traumatic youth is his lifeline. Boyle makes magic realism part of the film’s fabric, the essential part that lets in hope without compromising integrity.

Anthony Dod Mantle uses compact digital cameras to move with speed and stealth through the slums and palaces of Mumbai. The film is a visual wonder, propelled by A.R. Rahman’s hip-hopping score and Chris Dickens’ kinetic editing. The whoosh of action and romance pulls you in, but it’s the bruised characters who hold you there. Every step Jamal takes toward his final answer could get him killed. Even in the Bollywood musical number that ends the film, joy and pain are still joined in the dance. The no-bull honesty of Slumdog Millionaire hits you hard. It’s the real deal. No cheating.

PETER TRAVERS

(Posted: Nov 13, 2008)

All in all a brilliant time was had by all who attended! Make sure to view the photographs to see exactly how it went down and to view who the ‘real’ celebrities of the evening were

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