“Three Apples changed the world: One seduced Eve, One awakened Newton and One fell into the hands of Steve Jobs”
Steve Jobs has passed away.
My sincerest condolences to his family.
Even before we arrived in Australia, I knew that Britney Spears would be bringing her ‘The Circus’ tour to the land down under. However, I never thought I would actually get a chance to attend the concert.
For starters, Britney’s last show in Melbourne was on the 13th November and we were only set to arrive in Melbourne on the 16th. Furthermore, tickets to the event were not exactly cheap, ranging from stadium seating at $250 (R1700) per person to the insanely priced ‘Love Seats’ for $1500 (for two tickets –> R10 000 ). Consequently, chances of me attending Miss Spears’ performance were pretty thin.
Or so I thought.
Through a fortunate turn of events, Britney had actually extended her tour due to popular demand, adding three extra shows to her repertoire. One of those shows, as luck would have it, was in Melbourne.
I would be lying if I said that I was not excited at the possibility of watching the princess of pop perform in the flesh. After all, like the Queen (Madonna), it is not as if Britney would be making her way to South Africa. So it was pretty much a ‘This Is It’ kind of scenario.
Amazingly, my parents ascertained that this would be a fantastic experience and wholeheartedly agreed to buy tickets to the show. Not only that, but they even allowed me to opt for the ‘stool’ seating, which is directly behind the ‘Love Seats’ and, as it turned out, was literally a meter and a half away from the stage.
Without a doubt, ‘The Circus presenting Britney Spears’ was the best concert I have ever been to. I am unable to truly relay how awesome the experience was. The circus elements to the show, alone, were worth the price of admission; from acrobats, to martial artists, clowns, mimes, weapon artists, magicians… you name it and it was there (animals excluded). In addition to the circus element, I have never before been privy to a live performance with as much pyrotechnics and stage theatrics as this. The ‘wow’ factor was simply phenomenal. I do think that the experience was made just that much better courtesy of our seats which, as I have mentioned before, allowed us to be almost within two arm lengths of the pop princess.
Contrary to the controversy surrounding Britney’s performance in the land down under, I can honestly admit that I would watch it again. So what if she lip-synchs? Anyone who has heard of Britney Spears knows that she is infamous for lip-synching (along with many other famous artists). So this was really of no surprise. In my opinion, if you want to hear an artist sing, buy the album. If you want to watch them perform, go to a concert. Whether they sing ‘live’ or not is irrelevant. With that said, it is worth noting that Britney did sing at least one song live, the ballad ‘everytime’. To all the naysayers who think Britney Spears cannot sing, let me tell you, this chick has a good voice. As a matter of fact, she actually sounds better live than through her recordings. So it is a shame that she does not perform ‘live’ more often.
Considering how close I was able to get, I was quite surprised to realise how small Britney Spears actually is. She is tiny. Then again, I am 6’4”, so a lot of people are smaller than I am. After two kids, she does look very good. While I’m on the topic of her body, it is worth noting that she is rather fit. She has good muscle tone; most definitely what could be described as a dancers body. So she is not petit and does appear to have some extra junk in her trunk. I think the biggest surprise to me was how small her boobs were. For those who know we, I’m a boob man. Britney has a good handful, but not what one would expect after all of the boob job debates. Have a look for yourself, in the album below.
I am truly so thankful that I could have this opportunity and would like to send a huge ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ to my loving parents who made it all possible.
Until the next time “Milieunairs”!
Like most men, I can be said to partially fall into the stereotype of usually being able to thoroughly enjoy anything with a lot of action, sex, nudity, blood and gore. Preferably with all of the above. So, it stands to reason, and as far as stereotypes go, that I would enjoy a good spot of frantic online gaming mayhem, with a few friends, in a game such as Call of Duty: World at War. Without a doubt, online game playing is a lot of unadulterated fun. Assuming of course your Internet connection is up to ‘speed’.
Nothing is worse than having lag within an online game. I would imagine the experience being very similar to someone who has a premature ejaculator for a partner. Just when you think you are about to score, all ready and willing, the fun is over because the other party ended up ‘jizzing’ in your face, before you could even get your skirt up, and all that is left for you to do is to clean up the mess. No matter what you do within the online portion of the game, the opposing team always has the edge over you, always one step a head. This is not because you are not any good, but simply because your internet connection happens to be slower than a 90 year old geriatric with a walking aid crossing the street during peak hour traffic (Oh how you have to love the northern suburbs).
Unsurprisingly, this ‘phenomenon’ is not exclusive to myself. Often during an online game, I will get an ear full of David and Warren graciously dropping the ‘f-bomb, among other obscenities, because of this particular hindrance. Not much is more infuriating than knowing, with complete certainty, that you have beaten the enemy, only to have them take you out because your actions have yet to be relayed, due to lag, to the oppositions system. Argh… Just thinking about it is enough to raise my blood pressure. Furthermore, there are times when it is almost impossible to join an online match. You most likely have a better chance of getting a sexually transmitted disease through diffusion than being able to play online.
All of our lag issues stem from our broadband provider, of course. In sunny South Africa we are somewhat limited when it comes to broadband Internet access. Our only real option is that of the monopolistic Helkom Telksum Telkom’s ‘DO’ broadband, which has a maximum speed of 4 Mbps and comes bundled with a pathetic four gigabyte cap. According to Telkom this is in conjunction with international standards *cough* and should allow users to ‘DO’, not ‘do’ but “DO", gaming, music and movies (check the advertisement below, so you too can ‘DO’ the Internet *rolls eyes and throws up slightly at the back of throat*). Puh-leez! If anything, it is more like users will ‘DO’ nothing, downtime, lag and inconsistency.
Telkom are, allegedly, in the process of upgrading the network to cater for the 2010 World Cup. Whatever! This is Africa. Already the fabled Gautrain has been pushed back to 2012 and the current abhorrent ‘road works’ to 2011. Yay… fun times ahead *sigh*!
Until the next time Milieu Pals.
