It should be noted, that I am truly not a big alcohol drinker. Partly because I do not see the appeal in losing my self-control through inebriation. Unlike most, I do not need a ‘relaxing’ agent in order to have fun or to lower my inhibitions. That just comes naturally. So it was quite a surprise to some that I would be organising a tour of the South African Breweries (SAB).

However, just because someone does not drink beer or alcohol, does not mean that they would not enjoy the tour of the breweries. All one needs is an inquisitive mind. After all, SAB produce 90 percent of the consumable drinks available in South Africa, from bottled water, to beer, to fruit juices and sodas.

When I made the booking, for the World of Beer tour , I really had no idea what it would be like. Other than the fact that the admission price included two free SAB produced drinks per person. Any kind of drink, I might add. Considering the admission price was only R25, I was not expecting much. I kind of figured that we would most likely just see how beer was made and perhaps taste test a few brands. I could not have been more mistaken.

The World of Beer tour ‘literally’ blew away every expectation I had. Seriously.

Not only does the tour encompass the full history of beer throughout the ages, from the times of he Egyptians all the way to the globalisation of various brews, but it also includes:

• a virtual guide, taste testing of ancient and modern variants of beer, a 3D Cinema adventure,

• a free beer glass, ability to watch beer being made, options to taste and feel beer ingredients,

• and finally a 180 degree-sense-encompassing-theatre which showcases the entire South African beer industry.

All this, including any two free SAB made drinks, for just R25. Yes, that is right folks… ONLY R25! Well smack me sideways and call me Susan! The value for money is absolutely insane! I can honestly say that the World of Beer tour is, without a doubt, some of the most fun a person can have for less money than a single movie ticket. Furthermore, it is also an excellent tourist destination. If you have friends from abroad, take them for the World of Beer tour, they will not be disappointed (there is also a gift shop that they will love)!

In addition to the tour, visitors may also eat at the restaurant which makes surprisingly good food. However, it is important to note that that each person is only allowed to drink the two free provided drinks. They do not sell drinks at the restaurant or anywhere else at the World of Beer venue. This is an annoyingly small detail which the staff neglect to inform visitors about. So do not go thirsty or expecting to get ‘sozzled’.

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Ultimately the SAB World of Beer tour is a fantastic experience and very wallet friendly – an absolute saving grace with regards to the current economic recession. I can heartily recommend the experience to all.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

Each Hans’ Milieu edition of Vocab101 will take place on Wordy Wednesdays and will contain all the words I have tweeted over the course of one week from the previous Vocab101 session (7 days, 7 new words). Furthermore, each Hans’ Milieu edition of Vocab101 will contain additional new words which did not make the original cut, but are just as tantalising/disturbing!

Vocab101:

• Gymnophoria – The word used to describe the sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.

• Pisshap – A mishap which generally involves the mass consumption of alcohol and an unfortunate misdirection of urine.

• Autotonsorialist – Someone who cuts his/her own hair without the aid of another individual.

• Laatlammetjie – An Afrikaans word that loosely translates as ‘late lamb’.  It is a word that is often used to describe those unexpected and unplanned bundles of joy, which are gifted to couples that are often past their child rearing prime.

• Dactylonomy – The act of counting on or using one’s fingers.

• Bandgasm – An orgasmic like feeling brought on by a magnificent musical moment. Similar to a Flavourgasm, but brought on by music instead of food.

• Snart – When a person uncontrollably sneezes and farts at the same time.

Vocab101-isms which missed the cut:

• Grundle – The spot between ones scrotum, or vagina, and the anus.

• Mulligrubs – A state of depression or low spirits which results in the act of sulking.

I do hope that you enjoyed this edition of Vocab101 and that you will return for some more Vocab101-isms in the near future… but wait, there is more!

Last week an author known as Adam Jacot de Boinod stumbled upon Hans’ Milieu and discovered my Wordy Wednesday: ‘Vocab101’ posts. Coincidentally, Adam also has a penchant for excavating and using extraordinary words:

Adam Jacot de Boinod, hunter of perfect and obscure bon mots, is a true linguistic bowerbird (a person who collects an astonishing array of – sometimes useless – objects). He trawled the languages of the world for exotic specimens in his bestselling book The Meaning of Tingo and hit follow-up Toujours Tingo and has now turned his attention to his mother tongue in The Wonder of Whiffling.

Knowing that we both have an uncanny affinity for obtuse and entertaining words, Adam introduced himself to me and his current work in progress, The Wonder of Whiffling:

The Wonder of Whiffling is a tour of English around the globe (with fine coinages from our English-speaking cousins across the pond, Down Under and elsewhere).

Discover all sorts of words you’ve always wished existed but never knew, such as fornale, to spend one’s money before it has been earned; cagg, a solemn vow or resolution not to get drunk for a certain time; and petrichor, the pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell.

Discover why it is you wouldn’t want to have dinner with a vice admiral of the narrow seas, why Jacobites toasted the little gentleman in black velvet, and why a Nottingham Goodnight is better than one from anywhere else.

The Wonder of Whiffling will be available from Tuesday 24th September 2009 from both Amazon (UK) and Amazon (USA). I, personally, cannot wait to get a hold of a copy of Adam’s new book and I hope that the fiendishly verbomanic among you will do the same!

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

Ever since the third book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, there has always been one aspect of Harry’s universe, an aspect I always considered could be a real possibility, that, more than anything, I wish I could experience. The longing has always been there, at the distant edges of my psyche, buzzing around my stray thoughts like a hard to catch ‘Snitch’. Not magic. Not the Time-Turner. Not even a draft of Felix Felicis. Nothing but the warm and slightly intoxicating taste of Hermione Butterbeer!

Alas, I hear your cries of doubt, but fear not Millieunairs for the fabled drink of drinks does indeed exist.

For the last two weeks, I have taken to scouring the Internet in search of the perfect Butterbeer recipe. Some have certainly come delectably close, but none, that I can tell, appear to have perfected a brew like Madam Rosmerta’s. That is, I dare say, until now!

Through hours of gruelling brewing, I have managed to create, what I believe to be, the drink J.K. Rowling herself envisioned. Two variants, each unique, but both filled with delicious near butterscotch-like, tipsy house-elf inducing, goodness. Just in time too, for what better way is there to celebrate Harry Potter’s birthday (31st July) then with a mug of warm tingly Butterbeer?!

As previously mentioned, I have devised two variants of Butterbeer. The first and primary recipe is for Madam Rosmerta’s Butterbeer, which is made with real alcohol, but only just enough to fully recreate that all encompassing warm and fuzzy feeling. The second incarnation, Aberforth’s Butterbeer, is specifically designed for the underage Butterbeer drinker. In all honesty, the primary recipe is relatively weak and should be suitable for children too, just as long as it is handed out in moderation and under strict adult supervision.

Madam Rosmerta’s Butterbeer

To create a single mug of authentic Madam Rosmerta’s Butterbeer, you will need the following ingredients:

• 200 millilitres of Sprite (you may use Ginger Ale if you prefer the taste)
• 100 Millilitres of Guinness (you may use a lighter or less bitter ale/beer if you prefer – be aware that cider’s make the concoction tangy)
• 2 tots (capfuls if you prefer) of Butterscotch schnapps (or 2 table spoons of butterscotch syrup, for less of a kick).
• 1 egg yolk (separate the white of egg from the yolk)
• 2 large tablespoons of honey
• 1 large table spoon of pure butter (white butter is best)
• 1 scoop of vanilla flavoured ice-cream
• a pinch of cinnamon
• a dash of nutmeg

Step 1:
Pour the Sprite and Guinness into a deep set pan over a medium to high heat. Make sure to watch the contents of the pan carefully. When the solution appears to reach a boil, remove the pan from the hotplate and set the heat to low.

Step 2:
While the solution is coming to a boil, mix and beat the following ingredients together with a whisk: egg yolk, butterscotch schnapps, honey, with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a touch of nutmeg.

Step3:
Slowly incorporate the warm solution into the mixture of ingredients, using a large serving spoon or similar equivalent, all the while continuing to beat the mixture with a whisk. This is to prevent the egg yolk from turning into scrambled eggs. Five large serving spoonfuls should do the trick.

Step 4:
Place the Sprite and Guinness solution back onto a hotplate at a low heat. Then pour the mixture into the liquid solution and use the whisk to stir the brew. The brew should now be the colour of a medium brewed tea.

Step 5:
Allow the brew to simmer for a few (5) minutes and then add the butter. Use the whisk to ensure the butter completely melts into the brew.

Step 6:
Pour the brew into your desired instrument of consumption, wait 5 – 10 minutes (it tastes better when it is not too hot), then drop a scoop of vanilla flavoured ice-cream on the top, add a speckle of cinnamon and a spot of nutmeg, and ‘voila’, Butterbeer! Slurp slowly and let the warm, fuzzy, butterscotch-like substance consume your entire being!

Alternatively, if you are keen to try Madam Rosmerta’s Butterbeer, but without a kick, simply substitute the Guinness for Sprite or Ginger Ale and the Butterscotch Schnapps for Butterscotch Syrup. It will have a similar effect. Be warned though, without the beer it will be extremely sweet. The Aberforth variant of Butterbeer requires less work and tastes great, but, in my opinion, does not taste the way I envisioned Butterbeer to taste. However, everyone’s tastes do differ. Thus, without further ado, here is the Aberforth Butterbeer brew:

Aberforth’s Butterbeer

To create a single mug of Aberforth’s Butterbeer, simply do the following:

Pour 100 millilitres of Sprite, 100 millilitres of Ginger Ale (or Sprite again if you prefer) and 100 millilitres of Milk into a mug. Then add a large tablespoon of Butterscotch syrup (or, for an added kick, replace the syrup with some Butterscotch schnapps). Place the mug into the microwave and heat on high for approximately three minutes. In a blender, place a scoop of vanilla ice-cream, a large table spoon of butter, a shake of cinnamon and a freckle of nutmeg. Once the liquid has been heated, quickly place into a blender and blend on high for one minute (also tastes great cold). Serve and enjoy!

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I thoroughly hope you enjoyed reading this post and that you do not forget to cheers Harry for his birthday! Furthermore, may the Butterbeer ‘warm’ your cold winters day, in some magical way.

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Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

(Portkeys of information: Blog O’ Beer, MuggleNet, Delightful Delicacies, The World of Stuff, You Know Who’s Informer, Slashfood, Channel 4 Food, Hogwarts Celebration)

For those still not in the know, The Upper Palatte is a group created to get ‘friends’ together, at least once a month, to try out new places to eat thus broadening our palate sensations – whether it may be a trendy bistro at a five star hotel or an  undiscovered earthy ethnic eatery. Members of The Upper Palatte are affectionately referred to as Upper Crusters. An Upper Cruster is a member of The Upper Palatte and consequently a part of The Upper Crust (TUC), which is the title given to the body of individuals who belong to The Upper Palatte.

On Friday 20 March 2009, The Upper Palatte (TUP) had its second ‘eat’. The venue was Mama Tembo’s Cafe, an ethnic eatery located in the suburbs of Linden, Johannesburg. A total of twelve Upper Crusters were able to attend The Upper Palatte’s second meet.

Initially, Mama Tembo’s was supposed to have been the venue at which TUP was meant to have its inaugural eat. However, just before the eat was to take place, it was brought to my attention that all current Mama Tembo’s had been disenfranchised (coincidentally, all within the same week of TUP’s inaugural eat) but that a new branch would be opening at a later date. Seriously… what were the odds? I may add that this was extremely annoying and a major inconvenience. As a result, I had my reservations about rescheduling another TUP’s outing at Mama Tembo’s, yet, for some odd reason, I found myself drawn to the mystique of the place. Honestly, I was most curious to find out how ‘ethnic’ the place really was.

At first glance, Mama Tembo’s may be said to resemble a restaurant from the ‘Cool Running’s’ chain of party venues. However, once inside, patrons are transported to a 1960’s flavoured South African ‘shebeen’, with tin roof and all, which is filled with memories from the ‘good old days’. The place is 100% South African and proudly so. I must say, that it would be the perfect place to bring an international visitor. Not only will visitors be able to learn about our history and culture, but, cleverly so, they are also able to purchase any of the exorbitantly priced item which litter the venue’s floor, walls and tables. Furthermore, all cutlery is wrapped within ‘dish cloths’ and served within old coal driven clothing irons. The place is very funky ,with great little touches, and oozes a deep ‘African’ warmth. The experience is not unlike standing in a queue at the airport, surrounded by people who have no concept of personal space, while sipping a strawberry daiquiri.

With regards to the food, I was rather disappointed with the menu. Although Mama Tembo’s toots being an ethnic eatery, the place has no special or unique cuisines. I was expecting meals along the lines of ‘Crispy Chicken Feet’, ‘Goats Brain’, ‘Lamb Knuckles’ or even ‘Tripe’. Our domestic worker would have been immensely dissatisfied. With regards to food, I will try almost anything at least once. Sadly, the most interesting meal on the menu was that of the ‘Marrow Bones’ starter, which I obviously ended up ordering. The meal was great, delicious in fact. The best part was the sauce of the marrow, which had a sweet balsamic spin to it. Dillon and myself ended up polishing it all off and were even tempted to lick the plate clean *lick*.

For my main course I ordered the ‘Lamb Stew’. Although I found the meal to be far too salty, I did enjoy the overall taste. My meal was served with traditional ‘pap en sous’, which I laced with Balsamic vinegar, and, as Tammi put it, ‘el dente’ vegetables. I also ordered a side of the rather
unique and unusual ‘pap’ chips. Pap chips are tendrils of mielie meal which have been deep fried. Unfortunately, they do not really taste like anything, perhaps oil, but that is as good as it gets.

Service at Mama Tembo’s leaves a lot to be desired. It is not unlike going to Cool Running’s or News Cafe when it is really busy. Myself, and several other Upper Crusters, had to continuously ask for drinks or meals, again, and again, and again… and again. You know, I understand that being a waiter is hard, I get it, but that really is not my problem. If you are a waiter, it is your job to ensure that the customer is happy and well fed, and not left trying to gain your attention through various charade like hand gestures or even, through sheer desperation, smoke signals (yes, we burnt quite a few things with the candles… who doesn’t? *snicker*).

Despite the gripes with the service, the rest of the evening was a great amount of fun. We literally danced and sang while being offered free tequila shooters. I am not talking about the good kind now, after all we were supposed to be in a ‘shebeen’, but the kind that feels like it has lacerated your oesophagus while it burns a hole into you stomach lining.

The ‘feel good’ effects were immediate which resulted in, among other things, Freddy feeling up tiny metal ‘cocks’, while Simon made ‘vaginal shaped chickens’ out of dish cloths, which left Dillon trying to smoke the papery ends of straws, all with Tammi absentmindedly making ‘sperm’ out of tissue paper and candle wax. Yes, good times!

At the close of the evening, The Upper Palatte unanimously adjudged Mama Tembo’s Cafe with a delicious rating of eight out of ten. This ‘ethnic eatery’ is trendy and has a fantastic vibe. Although the service does have its flaws, the food is good and a great time can be had by all. Endorsement: Deliciously Recommended.

Although all of The Upper Crust who were able to attend had a fantastic time, we do hope that the next venue to be visited by The Upper Palatte will be just as much fun or perhaps, even better! Please do have a look at the album from ‘The Upper Palatte Ingests: Mama Tembo’s Cafe.

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